Your Perspective Defines Your Reality

RJ Regan
3 min readNov 7, 2020

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I remember a story from the book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” that went something like this. There was a father and three children that got on the city bus. The father was somewhat “out of it” and not really paying attention as the children were, quite frankly, out of control.

The children were loud, hopping from seat to seat and disrupting everyone on the bus.

And the father did absolutely nothing. He just sat there looking straight ahead, oblivious to the chaos his children were inflicting on the busload of people.

Finally, one lady, who had a rough day and had enough, went up to the father and said, “Excuse me sir, but your children are being very disruptive, would you mind getting them under control?”

The father, as if he was awoken from a trance, apologized and said, “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize they were being so bad. You see, we just came from the funeral home where we buried their mother today and I guess I was just a little out of it. I will take care of them immediately. I am so sorry.”

All of a sudden, at once, the entire demeanor on the bus changed. Once a new perspective was introduced to the passengers, their attitude changed and the children were no longer seen as monsters, but as hurting kids who just lost their mom.

It’s funny how things can change in a split second once additional information is made available. That is why it is always good to keep an open mind and listen to folks who see things differently than you do. Their perspective may just be the piece of information that you have been missing your entire life.

It reminds me of the six blind men feeling the different parts of the elephant. One, feeling the tusks, said it was like a spear. One, who was feeling the ear, said it was like a leaf. One feeling the leg said it was like a tree and still another, feeling the tail, said it was like a rope.

Who was right? They all were. They were also all wrong. It is a limited and false view of reality that gets us into trouble. What seems right at first, could be wrong, until another perspective comes along.

It reminds me of the story King Solomon told his son when he said, “The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him.[1]

This is why free speech and open dialogue is so important. It is the multiple, different perspectives that help us to see the more complete picture of reality. No one has all of the answers. Pay attention and listen to others with a different perspective. It will help formulate a more accurate reality.

[1] Proverbs 18:17

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RJ Regan
RJ Regan

Written by RJ Regan

Robert "RJ" Regan is Vice President of Business Development at The Robert Regan Group. His latest book “Decide!” was released on November 12, 2020.

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